I can’t believe my mom grounded @sunflorist. That’s not even her kid... is it?

Is there something you need to tell me

I’ll name my first child #naruto, my second child @sunflorist, and my third child Jim.

I’m having a stroke

#omg is perfect for @sunflorist

Ya keep showing up

I’d be nothing without @sunflorist.

💖💖💖

*gazes off into the distance* @sunflorist? I haven’t heard that name in years.

Lmao what 🌻🌻🌻

It was @sunflorist, in the parlor, with a #mp100.

*gasp* a murderererer

If the groundhog sees @sunflorist, that’s 6 more weeks of winter.

I’m going to park you right in front of a groundhog so we have eternal winter

academia is ruined, we need to throw it back to the days when scholars were only after the cure for death, i want to wear a cool robe and get funding from the king to just do whatever the hell and kind of poison him

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>ninth century ad

>tries to give the emperor immortality

>accidentally invents gunpowder instead

>mfw

a foreign King visits Skull Island 

my life is complete

I can feel the surprised expression on the duck’s face.  It’s like “This is unexpected,”

lampfaced:
“ houstonwehaveadog:
“ saltrat88:
“ tulpawithablog:
“ catsbeaversandducks:
“ “Roger’s favourite game is crushing his feed bucket! Roger is our alpha male kangaroo, he is 10 years old, height 6ft 7, weight 200 pounds and 100% muscle. I...

“Roger’s favourite game is crushing his feed bucket! Roger is our alpha male kangaroo, he is 10 years old, height 6ft 7, weight 200 pounds and 100% muscle. I raised him from a tiny orphan baby kangaroo.”

Photo/caption by The Kangaroo Sanctuary Alice Springs

tulpawithablog

Look at this fucking chad

saltrat88

Damn.

Australia is a foreign planet.

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actually this fucking slaps

When you’re out with your dad and he just keeps talking to some random guy

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botanyshitposts:
“ lammergeierprincess:
“ reishidreams:
“ Reishi farmin’
”
It’s the Mush Room
”
this is where u wake up to get judged when u die
”

Reishi farmin’

It’s the Mush Room

this is where u wake up to get judged when u die 

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